Voodoo nods. "Right. Anyway. Back when I was with Team Three, I was at this strip club with one of my buddies, Chemo. We called him that because when he was a little kid he ate these fuckin' berries that gave him this fever that made all his hair follicles die, so he was just fuckin' bald all over. Anyway, I was kinda drunk, so I said something like 'hey, all this poledancing shit don't look so hard, all you gotta do's grind your ass against this pole', right? But one of the male strippers, he heard me and he got a giant stick up his ass about it. He bet he could poledance better than I could, and 'cause I was a drunk motherfucker I was like, 'you're on'. Loser had to pay for poledancing lessons from the winner.
"Now, he gets up on the pole and he's doin' all these fancy twirls and holds 'n shit, and broads're practically throwin' their panties at him. I get up there, and I couldn't even lift my feet off the ground, I was so fuckin' wasted. Spent the next coupla months learning how to poledance from Fabio there.
"Now Chemo couldn't never keep his damn mouth shut about personal shit for long. And one day, unbeknownst to me, he mentions to our team leader that I was, y'know, learning to poledance in my spare time. So we're, y'know, training, gearing up for another deployment cycle, and then one day as our element headed into the ops room, I saw this giant pole right in the middle of the room.
"And I think to myself, 'oh, fuck.'
"Then the lights go down, these strobes and fog machines go on, the bass someone set up is thumping this electronic crap. Then our team leader says, 'Chemo tells me you know your way 'round this shit, Voodoo. Prove it.'
"Next thing I know, everybody's pushing me toward the pole, yellin' all kindsa shit. 'Dance, bitch! Dance!' 'Show us your tits!' 'Grind that shit!'
"And because I was such a good sport, I complied. Stripped down to the waist, showed 'em my stuff, laughing all the way. They even started throwing money at me halfway through because I was so damn good."
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"Now, he gets up on the pole and he's doin' all these fancy twirls and holds 'n shit, and broads're practically throwin' their panties at him. I get up there, and I couldn't even lift my feet off the ground, I was so fuckin' wasted. Spent the next coupla months learning how to poledance from Fabio there.
"Now Chemo couldn't never keep his damn mouth shut about personal shit for long. And one day, unbeknownst to me, he mentions to our team leader that I was, y'know, learning to poledance in my spare time. So we're, y'know, training, gearing up for another deployment cycle, and then one day as our element headed into the ops room, I saw this giant pole right in the middle of the room.
"And I think to myself, 'oh, fuck.'
"Then the lights go down, these strobes and fog machines go on, the bass someone set up is thumping this electronic crap. Then our team leader says, 'Chemo tells me you know your way 'round this shit, Voodoo. Prove it.'
"Next thing I know, everybody's pushing me toward the pole, yellin' all kindsa shit. 'Dance, bitch! Dance!' 'Show us your tits!' 'Grind that shit!'
"And because I was such a good sport, I complied. Stripped down to the waist, showed 'em my stuff, laughing all the way. They even started throwing money at me halfway through because I was so damn good."
He takes a drink from his beer.
"But all in all, it was incredibly gay."